Love

12.  Love

The final suggestion in the 12 steps to self care: Love. Love as a verb. I may not "feel" the warm and fuzzy associated with infatuation with someone or something but I can choose to love. Sometimes I have to really contemplate what that looks like. When people and events are going as I interpret as "good", love is a breeze. If the circumstances are difficult, then love seems more difficult. At times the easiest thing is not the most loving thing. For example, it may be easier to "swoop in" and clean up someone else's mess than to endure the fallout, but is it the most loving thing in the long run?

Maybe the bottom line is you get back what you give so a valuable "self care" step IS to love. What do you think?

Stay away from drama and negativity

11. Stay away from drama and negativity

Seems pretty basic. Who wants to be involved in drama? Hmmm.... sometimes we are drawn to it like moths to light.  Everyone knows someone who they deem a "drama queen. "  Some people seem to thrive on the chaos. This has never been a difficult suggestion for me.  Even the times turmoil and drama seemed interesting, it was always a huge energy drainer. The same is true for negativity. Notice how you feel around certain people. Do they leave you feeling happy and positive or are you weakened by your interaction? If I am obligated to be around a "Debbie or Donnie Downer" I remind myself not to absorb their energy. I can and will be polite and cordial, however, a well timed "You might be right" is always a negativity diffuser. Bottom line is... life is too short for drama and negativity!

Let Go of what you can't control

10. Let go of what you can't control

Ok, done! I wish it were that easy for me. For some reason I have this little voice that tells me (erroneously) that I do have control. The truth is the only thing I can control is me. I can control my thoughts (with practice) how I choose to react and then my behavior. Other than that, I really don't have any control over anything! The more I try to hold on to what is not in my power to control, the more difficult my life becomes. I've heard it said there are three kinds of business: God's business, someone else's business and my business. The trick is to stay busy with my business and to let go of everything else!
 I love this deviation of the serenity prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to let go of what I cannot control,
The courage to control what I can
And the wisdom to know it's me!