When learning is needed the answers will come!

6. Stop thinking so much. It's okay not to have all the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.

I really like this one. Our rational mind can go into overdrive when we are trying to solve a problem which can overwhelm our intuitive senses. Sometimes a difficult issue can become more tangled the harder we try to push for an answer in our time frame. I know it can sound counterproductive and counterintuitive to put our best thinking aside for a little while, but really... try to give it a rest and see what happens. In my experience most things that are important are not urgent and most things that are urgent are not important. The important things may take a little time to simmer so information can come to you from everywhere. Consider the many sources available; Maybe something you read, perhaps a conversation with a friend or stranger, or you just "know." Trust that the answers will be there when you need them.

Another take on the buddhist proverb, When the student is ready, the teacher will come, could be
when learning is needed, the answers will come. So do your due diligence, keep your eyes and ears open, and be ready for your answer when you least expect it!


                                                         

Relax and trust the process

Comparisons

5. Don't compare your life to others, and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is about.

     This statement is another favorite of mine. How easy is it to compare ourselves to others? Too easy! There are many well known sayings that embody this idea --- "The grass is always greener on the other side; Don't judge a book by its cover; Comparison is the death of joy" -- Just to remind us of a few.

        The suggestion not to compare ourselves to others is some wise advice but the second sentence gets to the heart of the matter for me. I started thinking about everyone I knew, both close friends and acquaintances. Upon reflection, there wasn't one person or family that didn't struggle with some sort of problem. Some seemed way worse than mine and I'm sure my life obstacles and experiences may seem monumental to someone else. The point being, everyone is faced with some challenge. Unless they are close friends, we are probably clueless about what those entail. It helps me to understand this in most interactions with others. If they seem short with me or unhappy, it is almost exclusively due to what is happening in their lives and not a personal attack. That knowledge is a pathway to feeling compassion for everyone. Our common experience of facing challenges bonds us together as humanity.


     Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 
                                                                          Plato

Happiness

4. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

     This statement is another interesting thought to ponder. How often have I looked to someone else to make me happy. I don't have to like what another person is doing but with some practice I can view their behavior as their issue, because the reality is someone else's thoughts and deeds are really their own business. Hmmm... you might be thinking, yeah, sure but what if their actions affect me? Good point, but you always have a choice. It was wonderful when I discovered I had the ability to choose my thoughts and actions. If someone was making me unhappy I would reluctantly look at myself first. What was I choosing to believe was true about the person or situation? How could I change myself, not the person. Did I have the ability to change the situation? If so, what was I waiting for? There is a wonderful variation of the well known 12 Step Serenity prayer that I love when I get myself into a twirl about what someone else may be doing or not doing.


       God, grant me the serenity to accept the person I cannot change
     The courage to change the one I can
     And the wisdom to know it's me.

I chuckle every time I hear or read that. I really do have so many choices to make myself happy. I've learned that depending on anyone else to do that job will probably end in disappointment. Besides, no one else is going to do nearly as good a job as you will do in making sure you are happy! Enjoy your day.
      

                                  

Happiness truly is in your hands

   

Time heals

3. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

   
       I know I've heard this bit of wisdom my entire life and have accepted it as true. Life offers many experiences so I don't want to offend anyone who has suffered a tragic loss with a cliche' about changing your thoughts or just "giving it time".  I did see a beautiful post on Facebook today. "The only people who think there's a time limit for grief, have never lost a piece of their heart. Take all the time you need. No rule book. No time frame. No judgements. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. Do what is right for your soul."

That being said, in most instances, time really is our friend ( if we embrace it) as it allows us to see things from a different perspective. When we are in the midst of turmoil, disappointment or unmet expectations it can be very difficult to put a rosy spin on the situation but with practice and commitment we can change our views to allow for a bigger perception of things.  Time also offers distance from the troubling event so it's not so raw as well as enabling us a period of growth.

     In my experience when I give something a few weeks, days or hours to just be, often the circumstance isn't nearly as troubling. A recent encounter was an example about how time can work its magic. I was with my daughter when I ran into a past neighbor I hadn't seen in about 25 years. Her interactions with me and my family had always been an enigma. I couldn't understand how she could be so angry and hateful to us. It was very hurtful and even though I loved our home, it tainted my experience of the neighborhood. We moved a couple of years later and raised our family a short distance away in a home we've enjoyed for 24 years. While on an errand,  I immediately recognized this person and extended a friendly greeting introducing my daughter (now an adult.) We exchanged pleasantries and went about our business. As we were walking to the car my daughter surprised me with her comment, "Wasn't that the woman who was so mean?" I could hardly believe she remembered her. She was only 5 or 6 when we lived there.

     The point of this example is that time did heal. I was pleased to see this woman and even happier that I felt no ill feelings. I had changed my thoughts many years ago. Whatever she was projecting onto me had nothing to do with me and more to do with what was going on with her at that point in her life.
Time had allowed me a period of reflection, growth and perspective. Maybe this life pointer is akin to the saying, "This too shall pass." Enjoy your day!


                                                   

What other people think

2. What other people think of you is none of your business.


     Wow, that's a tough one. We are programmed from birth to pay attention to what other people think. In it's unblemished form, others' opinions framed, formed and informed us. In essence, we learned much about the world, what was socially acceptable behavior and what others had experienced.
We can still glean much from other people but this life tip suggests that we need to outgrow our need for someone else's approval. (Unless, of course, we've asked for an opinion.)

 It is interesting to me that we will take something someone says about us and believe it- even when it's not true! Take for instance, this example: You have curly black hair and you learn that someone made a disparaging comment about your straight red hair. Chances are you would laugh and wonder what was wrong with that person. Why? Because you KNOW your hair is black and curly. That's the kind of confidence and security about yourself that no opinion can alter. Get to know yourself so you can stay in your own business and not worry about another's!

Make peace with your past

1. Make peace with your past, 
    So it doesn't disturb your present.

   

     Sounds pretty reasonable. As with most things that are worth doing, making peace with your past can sometimes be a difficult task. Maybe humans are hoarders at their core. We love to hang onto things whether it be material items, righteous beliefs, lost loves or hurt feelings. You name it, some things are just impossible to let go.

     If something is disturbing my present ( peace of mind) I know it is time to evaluate its source.  When I am hurt or angry, I'm usually focusing on the past. Fear is a projection into the future of the dreaded "What if" but that is a discussion for another day. What happened in the past is gone, meaning you can't change the event. You can, however, change your thoughts about what occurred and in the process clear out room in your head so you can be in the present.  Again, changing your thoughts requires work and may take more than one attempt but it is worth the effort.

     An example might be a regret you have over something done or something left undone. If you find yourself obsessing about what might have been, you are missing the here and now. For the most part, everyone is doing the best they can with the information and circumstances they have at the time. Think about it, you did too! It's time to let go of past events that can still create negative waves in your life. Move on. Learn from the past and love the present!


                                                                           

   

Life Rules... seven thoughts to ponder

                                Seven thoughts to ponder....

1. Make peace with your past. (so it doesn't disturb your present)
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.
3. Time heals almost everything. (give it time)
4. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
5. Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them, you
    have know idea what their journey is about.
6. Stop thinking too much. It's okay not to know all the answers.
    They will come to you when you least expect it.
7. Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world.