Simplify your life for the New Year

Hope everyone had a joyous holiday season.  Now is the time to start solidifying those great ideas for 2014 resolutions. Jumpstarting motivation to eat right, exercise and get enough sleep are always top priorities but I want to simplify my life. I'm always trying to "declutter" so that is only part of what I'm trying to accomplish. Some thoughts on a poster caught my attention and I have paraphrased it below. You can add your own thoughts....


                                                    SIMPLIFY

          *  If you miss someone... Call
          *  If you have a question... Ask
          *  Want to meet up... Invite
          *  Want to be understood... Explain
          *  Want something... Ask for it
          *  Don't like something... Say it
          *  Like something... State it
          *  Love someone... Tell them

Seems like a good idea. Simple, clean, honest and real. Of course, words should always be kind and gentle and always guided by discernment. Have a very Happy New Year.

          

Rejection

REJECTION

At first blush, Rejection is not a topic for an optimism blog! The truth is if you are alive, you have experienced many forms of rejection during your lifetime. I read an optimistic take on it today and it did make me stop and think... How does this read for you?

Rejection: God's protection

 I was thinking about a decision I made years ago. As a result of my decision,  I experienced a pretty substantial rejection. For some reason, it recently crossed my mind. My initial reaction was to re-experience the negative feelings of the rejection but my defense mechanism kicked into gear... I told myself it was probably good that things worked out the way they did. I don't think I really believed it until now. After giving it some thought, I really was protected by that particular rejection. Protected in so many ways. The new reading of Rejection really rings true for me. Maybe you can remember a powerful rejection that ended up being divine protection.

Maya Angelou.... Do the best you can.

I can relate to this thought lately. If I think about it, everyone is really doing the best that they can with the information they have. Delving a little deeper, it is not only the information I have but the mental, spiritual and emotional place I inhabit that determines my best at the time. When there is change in any of those areas, the choices you or I make may be different depending upon growth or lack thereof. If I am frustrated with someone or something, it helps me to remember that just as I am doing the best I am capable of doing at the time, so is everyone else. Maybe that is what is meant by "Judge Not." Tolerance and compassion flow more freely also. As a bonus, it is never wrong to apologize for something I've done in a less "knowledgeable" state of mind. Enjoy your day!

Accept What Is

I have to admit I get really tired of the phrase "It is what it is." While that may be true, it can be annoying at times. Just because it "IS" doesn't mean I have to like it. In fact, "It" doesn't care what my feelings are. If I take the time to contemplate why I'm unhappy with a situation, I usually find that it is not the situation that is bothersome, it is my thoughts about it that are upsetting me.

An example of how my thoughts can manipulate my feelings might go like this: It is raining outside. If I have just planted an Oak tree, I am delighted with Nature's help. If I have planned an outdoor birthday party for 20 six year olds,  I am not excited about the rain. Clearly it is not the rain that is the problem or the solution, it is my thoughts about the rain.

Part of "accepting what is"for me is to just acknowledge it without assigning a judgement.  (As in the rain.) When I'm able to do this, I free my mind to find a solution if one is needed because I'm dealing in fact instead of emotion. I recognize that this may be easier to do with some things than with others but it is a good starting point. Letting go of "what was or even what could have been" is also crucial. If I am holding on to something I leave no room for "what will be." In my experience, the "What Will Be" is full of unlimited potential! Enjoy your day!

Love

12.  Love

The final suggestion in the 12 steps to self care: Love. Love as a verb. I may not "feel" the warm and fuzzy associated with infatuation with someone or something but I can choose to love. Sometimes I have to really contemplate what that looks like. When people and events are going as I interpret as "good", love is a breeze. If the circumstances are difficult, then love seems more difficult. At times the easiest thing is not the most loving thing. For example, it may be easier to "swoop in" and clean up someone else's mess than to endure the fallout, but is it the most loving thing in the long run?

Maybe the bottom line is you get back what you give so a valuable "self care" step IS to love. What do you think?

Stay away from drama and negativity

11. Stay away from drama and negativity

Seems pretty basic. Who wants to be involved in drama? Hmmm.... sometimes we are drawn to it like moths to light.  Everyone knows someone who they deem a "drama queen. "  Some people seem to thrive on the chaos. This has never been a difficult suggestion for me.  Even the times turmoil and drama seemed interesting, it was always a huge energy drainer. The same is true for negativity. Notice how you feel around certain people. Do they leave you feeling happy and positive or are you weakened by your interaction? If I am obligated to be around a "Debbie or Donnie Downer" I remind myself not to absorb their energy. I can and will be polite and cordial, however, a well timed "You might be right" is always a negativity diffuser. Bottom line is... life is too short for drama and negativity!

Let Go of what you can't control

10. Let go of what you can't control

Ok, done! I wish it were that easy for me. For some reason I have this little voice that tells me (erroneously) that I do have control. The truth is the only thing I can control is me. I can control my thoughts (with practice) how I choose to react and then my behavior. Other than that, I really don't have any control over anything! The more I try to hold on to what is not in my power to control, the more difficult my life becomes. I've heard it said there are three kinds of business: God's business, someone else's business and my business. The trick is to stay busy with my business and to let go of everything else!
 I love this deviation of the serenity prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to let go of what I cannot control,
The courage to control what I can
And the wisdom to know it's me!