Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson

What do Andrew Jackson and theater have in common? Not much I would suspect. It's amusing that through a series of events we found ourselves at Players by the Sea in Jacksonville Beach enthralled  by a production of Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. 

I don't know much about community theater but I do know when I am entertained. Directed by Ron Shreve, this play is not for the easily offended. It is a punk rock version of Andrew Jackson's life focusing on his presidency. It is rambunctious, scandalous, and sexy. I'm recycling what I shared on Facebook.

"If you are looking for some entertainment this weekend and haven't been to community theater lately, you may want to check out Players by the Sea's production of Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. Ron Shreve directs a raucous, fun, high energy, punk rock version of our city's namesake. The cast has a palatable synergy with infectious energy and Nick Sacks as Andrew Jackson nails it! Some adjectives I heard describing the experience were rowdy, scandalous, fun, energetic and amazing. For me it was pure entertainment. Some warnings... It is an equal opportunity offender with rough language and several brands of political and social incorrectness for every taste. It may even leave you wondering why you didn't pay closer attention in history class. If it was as interesting as this version, I know I would have."

Never Speak Bad about Yourself

We have all heard or been taught at some point in our lives not to gossip or speak ill of others, but how many times have you heard not speak bad about yourself? Thoughts are the driving force of what we say and do. Thoughts feed words. Now turn it around. Words feed thoughts. If your self talk is negative you are creating a space and energy for negative to grow.

For example, you may want to lose weight.  You may even choose to make yourself accountable by sharing your goal with others. Consider the different energy you are putting out with, "I love pasta and I can enjoy it whenever I want it by choosing smaller portions." As opposed to "I love pasta but I have no self control when it comes to food.  I'm so fat." In both statements you acknowledge you love pasta but in one you reinforce your strength to choose smaller portions and in another you add to your self defeating thoughts.

There are many other subtle ways we denigrate ourselves with words.  Pay attention to what you say for a day or two. If you find yourself saying "bad" things about yourself, now is the perfect time to tweak your conversation!

Trust you instincts

4. Trust you instincts

This is very similar if not the same as number 1: If it feels wrong, don't do it. We all have the gift of intuition. We don't all nurture our ability and those who do may not  commit to trusting it. Like anything else that we would like to perfect, it takes practice.  The next time your head is instructing your next move, take a moment to ask you gut. See if you get a "feeling."

 A fun exercise to try when you want to confirm what your instincts or "heart" may be telling you only takes a minute. Stand with your arms comfortably at your side and close your eyes. Ask yourself the question and notice if your body leans slightly forward or backward. A forward lean means, yes, that is what you really want to do. A backward lean means you may not want that decision deep down.  For example: "I want to meet Susie for lunch?" See what your body tells you. Or... "I want to shop for a puppy." It's fun to experiment with this when you are not sure what you really want.  See if it rings true for you! But as always, in the final analysis, trust your instincts. They won't let you down.

Don't be a people pleaser!

3. Don't be a people pleaser

As a general rule, I like to speak in positives instead of negatives so I would rephrase this suggestion as:
Be true to yourself.  Some studies suggest that first born children have more of a tendency to be "people pleasers." As a first-born, I can say that this is probably correct... at least for me. In a sense, pleasing others is not a bad thing but if it becomes an obligation or a way of life that causes a spoken or unspoken resentment, it is not healthy. A general rule for me is as follows: Is it my joy and pleasure to do -----? If the answer is yes, then I'm pleasing myself. If not, I'm in the "people pleasing" mode.
One of the things I truly have learned is that you can't give what you don't have. Taking care of yourself is important. If not you, who else will???

Say Exactly What You Mean

2. Say exactly what you mean


Hmmm... Upon reflection, this may be one of the hardest ones for me. Sometimes I'm in a situation that I simply don't know what I mean to say. In those moments it is most productive to say nothing. An interesting exercise (if you have the luxury of time) is to go a full day saying nothing or as little as possible. Of course, you should tell people you are conducting an exercise or it may be almost impossible to complete this task. When you are aware of the power of words, it can help you be more mindful of what you DO say. Another great reminder of the same thing is, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say but don't say it mean." I would add the oldie but goodie, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say it." I would rather add compassion and OPTIMISM to the world with my words than negativity.
JUST SAYIN!



     Raise your words, not your voice. 
     It is rain that grows flowers,
     Not thunder.
    
       -Rumi

If it feels wrong, don't do it!

I like the steps so much on 12 steps to self care (see previous post) that I think each one requires reflection. My goal is to take each one, reflect a little on its essence then share my perception with you.
Feel free to post your reflections in the comment section!


1. If it feels wrong, don't do it

Seems like common sense doesn't it?  When I examine some past choices, there have been times when I've felt the nudge of my "gut" suggesting I think again. It's not that I didn't "feel" the suggestion but I simply chose to ignore it. The funny thing about those "gut feelings" for me is that they are usually subtle enough for me to write them off as something else. Perhaps I'm just fearful, maybe tired or anxious about something. I'm not talking about the blatant  RIGHT or WRONG decision that my conscience keeps guard over. It is usually something that someone else thinks I should do! Red Flag!!

I try to balance stepping out of my comfort zone with "is this really a good thing to do?" Most of it is learning to read the clues my body sends me constantly. A great resource about "gut feelings" is Heart Math by Doc Childre. According to Gail Harris, Heart Math takes information from the body and "translates it into simple tools that focus on teaching us how to listen to, and follow, the intuitive information of the heart. We can learn how to better make decisions, and to use the power of the heart to manage the mind and emotions."

Intuition, gut feelings... both great resources we have at our disposal any time!

12 Steps to Self Care

1. If it feels wrong, don't do it
2. Say exactly what you mean
3. Don't be a people pleaser
4. Trust your instincts
5. Never speak bad about yourself
6. Never give up on your dreams
7. Don't be afraid to say no
8. Don't be afraid to say yes
9. Be kind to yourself
10. Let go of what you can't control
11. Stay away from drama and negativity
12. Love


I've always been a proponent of self care under the theory that you can't give what you don't have. And think about it, the truth is no one knows exactly what you need except you! Others can offer love, help and support but in the final analysis, our happiness is up to us. Happiness never comes from the outside. It is always an inside job! Self care is never selfish it is the most loving thing you can do. If you love yourself, you are free to love others. What can you do to take care of yourself today????