Simplify your life for the New Year

Hope everyone had a joyous holiday season.  Now is the time to start solidifying those great ideas for 2014 resolutions. Jumpstarting motivation to eat right, exercise and get enough sleep are always top priorities but I want to simplify my life. I'm always trying to "declutter" so that is only part of what I'm trying to accomplish. Some thoughts on a poster caught my attention and I have paraphrased it below. You can add your own thoughts....


                                                    SIMPLIFY

          *  If you miss someone... Call
          *  If you have a question... Ask
          *  Want to meet up... Invite
          *  Want to be understood... Explain
          *  Want something... Ask for it
          *  Don't like something... Say it
          *  Like something... State it
          *  Love someone... Tell them

Seems like a good idea. Simple, clean, honest and real. Of course, words should always be kind and gentle and always guided by discernment. Have a very Happy New Year.

          

Rejection

REJECTION

At first blush, Rejection is not a topic for an optimism blog! The truth is if you are alive, you have experienced many forms of rejection during your lifetime. I read an optimistic take on it today and it did make me stop and think... How does this read for you?

Rejection: God's protection

 I was thinking about a decision I made years ago. As a result of my decision,  I experienced a pretty substantial rejection. For some reason, it recently crossed my mind. My initial reaction was to re-experience the negative feelings of the rejection but my defense mechanism kicked into gear... I told myself it was probably good that things worked out the way they did. I don't think I really believed it until now. After giving it some thought, I really was protected by that particular rejection. Protected in so many ways. The new reading of Rejection really rings true for me. Maybe you can remember a powerful rejection that ended up being divine protection.

Maya Angelou.... Do the best you can.

I can relate to this thought lately. If I think about it, everyone is really doing the best that they can with the information they have. Delving a little deeper, it is not only the information I have but the mental, spiritual and emotional place I inhabit that determines my best at the time. When there is change in any of those areas, the choices you or I make may be different depending upon growth or lack thereof. If I am frustrated with someone or something, it helps me to remember that just as I am doing the best I am capable of doing at the time, so is everyone else. Maybe that is what is meant by "Judge Not." Tolerance and compassion flow more freely also. As a bonus, it is never wrong to apologize for something I've done in a less "knowledgeable" state of mind. Enjoy your day!

Accept What Is

I have to admit I get really tired of the phrase "It is what it is." While that may be true, it can be annoying at times. Just because it "IS" doesn't mean I have to like it. In fact, "It" doesn't care what my feelings are. If I take the time to contemplate why I'm unhappy with a situation, I usually find that it is not the situation that is bothersome, it is my thoughts about it that are upsetting me.

An example of how my thoughts can manipulate my feelings might go like this: It is raining outside. If I have just planted an Oak tree, I am delighted with Nature's help. If I have planned an outdoor birthday party for 20 six year olds,  I am not excited about the rain. Clearly it is not the rain that is the problem or the solution, it is my thoughts about the rain.

Part of "accepting what is"for me is to just acknowledge it without assigning a judgement.  (As in the rain.) When I'm able to do this, I free my mind to find a solution if one is needed because I'm dealing in fact instead of emotion. I recognize that this may be easier to do with some things than with others but it is a good starting point. Letting go of "what was or even what could have been" is also crucial. If I am holding on to something I leave no room for "what will be." In my experience, the "What Will Be" is full of unlimited potential! Enjoy your day!

Love

12.  Love

The final suggestion in the 12 steps to self care: Love. Love as a verb. I may not "feel" the warm and fuzzy associated with infatuation with someone or something but I can choose to love. Sometimes I have to really contemplate what that looks like. When people and events are going as I interpret as "good", love is a breeze. If the circumstances are difficult, then love seems more difficult. At times the easiest thing is not the most loving thing. For example, it may be easier to "swoop in" and clean up someone else's mess than to endure the fallout, but is it the most loving thing in the long run?

Maybe the bottom line is you get back what you give so a valuable "self care" step IS to love. What do you think?

Stay away from drama and negativity

11. Stay away from drama and negativity

Seems pretty basic. Who wants to be involved in drama? Hmmm.... sometimes we are drawn to it like moths to light.  Everyone knows someone who they deem a "drama queen. "  Some people seem to thrive on the chaos. This has never been a difficult suggestion for me.  Even the times turmoil and drama seemed interesting, it was always a huge energy drainer. The same is true for negativity. Notice how you feel around certain people. Do they leave you feeling happy and positive or are you weakened by your interaction? If I am obligated to be around a "Debbie or Donnie Downer" I remind myself not to absorb their energy. I can and will be polite and cordial, however, a well timed "You might be right" is always a negativity diffuser. Bottom line is... life is too short for drama and negativity!

Let Go of what you can't control

10. Let go of what you can't control

Ok, done! I wish it were that easy for me. For some reason I have this little voice that tells me (erroneously) that I do have control. The truth is the only thing I can control is me. I can control my thoughts (with practice) how I choose to react and then my behavior. Other than that, I really don't have any control over anything! The more I try to hold on to what is not in my power to control, the more difficult my life becomes. I've heard it said there are three kinds of business: God's business, someone else's business and my business. The trick is to stay busy with my business and to let go of everything else!
 I love this deviation of the serenity prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to let go of what I cannot control,
The courage to control what I can
And the wisdom to know it's me!

Be kind to yourself

9. Be kind to yourself

Seems intuitive and self explanatory but what does being kind to yourself really mean? Eat right, exercise and get plenty of sleep are the tried and true standbys. No one will argue that following those three precepts are the basis of taking care of yourself. But let's expand that thought. Define your style of kindness. If you were being kind to someone, what would that look like? Maybe a smile for a stranger. Make it a smile for yourself. A helping hand? Give yourself a helping hand if you are struggling with something by seeking some support. Don't judge yourself (or others) if you make a mistake. The truth is we all make so many mistakes that there must be a great reason for our missteps!

Another important aspect of being kind to yourself is make sure you spend some time doing what you like to do. Only you know what recharges you. If you don't know (and that happens sometimes) be sure and explore those areas. Discard what no longer serves you and try things you think may interest you. The world is your playground. Let the games begin but keep yourself surrounded in kindess!

Don't be afraid to say yes

8. Don't be afraid to say YES

Love this one. I'm expanding my comments here from  saying yes to favors, social events or other daily happenings to saying yes to venture outside your comfort zone occasionally.  It can be a little intimidating and maybe even frightening but the rewards are great. All sorts of adventures, experiences and growth lie outside of the comfort realm. Just think about it! (PS, Thanks for checking my blog Fauzia!)

Don't be afraid to say no

7. Don't be afraid to say no

Are you a "people pleaser"? Do you say yes when you really want to say no? If so, you are not alone. If you have already learned that your world won't crumble if "no" is your answer then congratulations. (You may want to wait until the next post!) If No is what you really mean then saying No is powerful. It is also more liberating if you stay away from "in between" phrases. A guideline for me is:

 If it is my joy and pleasure to accommodate a request then yes is appropriate. IF NOT, then NO works for me!

Never give up on your dreams

5. Never give up on your dreams

I've been contemplating this one for a while. On its face it seems pretty straightforward but I think it may need some explanation. Making a dream become reality is multifaceted. According to Mike Dooley, motivational speaker and author, many people become bogged down in the "How To's" of their dream. While it is true that consistent action needs to be taken,  success also involves a specific mindset. You must not only believe your dream is available but you must "act as if" it has already your reality. For more on this, Dooley, has written an intriguing book you might want to explore, INFINITE POSSIBILITIES: The art of living your dreams. Happy reading!

Bar Exam Hell

Congratulations to Ann Elliott Adams Bryan

She did an incredible job of staying focused and determined through the grueling weeks leading up the the bar exam and then through the actual exam. If you have ever taken the bar exam ( more specifically taken it in the past 10 years (just guessing on that number)) you know what an incredible amount of preparation is required. If you are an out of state applicant you know the added stress of sitting for the Florida bar. And if you are a spouse, significant other or someone close to the person aspiring to pass the exam, you can only watch in disbelief witnessing the hours spent studying the impossible amount of information they are expected to know. If you fall into any of these categories, you will be thoroughly amused at the creative posts on
barexamhell.tumblr.com


Congratulations does not come close to what I'm trying to convey to Annie and to everyone who endured this grueling ordeal. Kinda makes law school look like a picnic from where I'm sitting.

The great news is that it is over! Watching her strength, resilience and courage (yes courage at times) was inspiring. So Proud and really excited to have been a part of this amazing journey! If you know someone who has just sat for the bar exam, give them some well deserved TLC!

PS... I'm sure her blog will be back on track soon. If you haven't checked it out yet, it is a great site. Happy reading. annelliott.blogspot.com

Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson

What do Andrew Jackson and theater have in common? Not much I would suspect. It's amusing that through a series of events we found ourselves at Players by the Sea in Jacksonville Beach enthralled  by a production of Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. 

I don't know much about community theater but I do know when I am entertained. Directed by Ron Shreve, this play is not for the easily offended. It is a punk rock version of Andrew Jackson's life focusing on his presidency. It is rambunctious, scandalous, and sexy. I'm recycling what I shared on Facebook.

"If you are looking for some entertainment this weekend and haven't been to community theater lately, you may want to check out Players by the Sea's production of Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. Ron Shreve directs a raucous, fun, high energy, punk rock version of our city's namesake. The cast has a palatable synergy with infectious energy and Nick Sacks as Andrew Jackson nails it! Some adjectives I heard describing the experience were rowdy, scandalous, fun, energetic and amazing. For me it was pure entertainment. Some warnings... It is an equal opportunity offender with rough language and several brands of political and social incorrectness for every taste. It may even leave you wondering why you didn't pay closer attention in history class. If it was as interesting as this version, I know I would have."

Never Speak Bad about Yourself

We have all heard or been taught at some point in our lives not to gossip or speak ill of others, but how many times have you heard not speak bad about yourself? Thoughts are the driving force of what we say and do. Thoughts feed words. Now turn it around. Words feed thoughts. If your self talk is negative you are creating a space and energy for negative to grow.

For example, you may want to lose weight.  You may even choose to make yourself accountable by sharing your goal with others. Consider the different energy you are putting out with, "I love pasta and I can enjoy it whenever I want it by choosing smaller portions." As opposed to "I love pasta but I have no self control when it comes to food.  I'm so fat." In both statements you acknowledge you love pasta but in one you reinforce your strength to choose smaller portions and in another you add to your self defeating thoughts.

There are many other subtle ways we denigrate ourselves with words.  Pay attention to what you say for a day or two. If you find yourself saying "bad" things about yourself, now is the perfect time to tweak your conversation!

Trust you instincts

4. Trust you instincts

This is very similar if not the same as number 1: If it feels wrong, don't do it. We all have the gift of intuition. We don't all nurture our ability and those who do may not  commit to trusting it. Like anything else that we would like to perfect, it takes practice.  The next time your head is instructing your next move, take a moment to ask you gut. See if you get a "feeling."

 A fun exercise to try when you want to confirm what your instincts or "heart" may be telling you only takes a minute. Stand with your arms comfortably at your side and close your eyes. Ask yourself the question and notice if your body leans slightly forward or backward. A forward lean means, yes, that is what you really want to do. A backward lean means you may not want that decision deep down.  For example: "I want to meet Susie for lunch?" See what your body tells you. Or... "I want to shop for a puppy." It's fun to experiment with this when you are not sure what you really want.  See if it rings true for you! But as always, in the final analysis, trust your instincts. They won't let you down.

Don't be a people pleaser!

3. Don't be a people pleaser

As a general rule, I like to speak in positives instead of negatives so I would rephrase this suggestion as:
Be true to yourself.  Some studies suggest that first born children have more of a tendency to be "people pleasers." As a first-born, I can say that this is probably correct... at least for me. In a sense, pleasing others is not a bad thing but if it becomes an obligation or a way of life that causes a spoken or unspoken resentment, it is not healthy. A general rule for me is as follows: Is it my joy and pleasure to do -----? If the answer is yes, then I'm pleasing myself. If not, I'm in the "people pleasing" mode.
One of the things I truly have learned is that you can't give what you don't have. Taking care of yourself is important. If not you, who else will???

Say Exactly What You Mean

2. Say exactly what you mean


Hmmm... Upon reflection, this may be one of the hardest ones for me. Sometimes I'm in a situation that I simply don't know what I mean to say. In those moments it is most productive to say nothing. An interesting exercise (if you have the luxury of time) is to go a full day saying nothing or as little as possible. Of course, you should tell people you are conducting an exercise or it may be almost impossible to complete this task. When you are aware of the power of words, it can help you be more mindful of what you DO say. Another great reminder of the same thing is, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say but don't say it mean." I would add the oldie but goodie, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say it." I would rather add compassion and OPTIMISM to the world with my words than negativity.
JUST SAYIN!



     Raise your words, not your voice. 
     It is rain that grows flowers,
     Not thunder.
    
       -Rumi

If it feels wrong, don't do it!

I like the steps so much on 12 steps to self care (see previous post) that I think each one requires reflection. My goal is to take each one, reflect a little on its essence then share my perception with you.
Feel free to post your reflections in the comment section!


1. If it feels wrong, don't do it

Seems like common sense doesn't it?  When I examine some past choices, there have been times when I've felt the nudge of my "gut" suggesting I think again. It's not that I didn't "feel" the suggestion but I simply chose to ignore it. The funny thing about those "gut feelings" for me is that they are usually subtle enough for me to write them off as something else. Perhaps I'm just fearful, maybe tired or anxious about something. I'm not talking about the blatant  RIGHT or WRONG decision that my conscience keeps guard over. It is usually something that someone else thinks I should do! Red Flag!!

I try to balance stepping out of my comfort zone with "is this really a good thing to do?" Most of it is learning to read the clues my body sends me constantly. A great resource about "gut feelings" is Heart Math by Doc Childre. According to Gail Harris, Heart Math takes information from the body and "translates it into simple tools that focus on teaching us how to listen to, and follow, the intuitive information of the heart. We can learn how to better make decisions, and to use the power of the heart to manage the mind and emotions."

Intuition, gut feelings... both great resources we have at our disposal any time!

12 Steps to Self Care

1. If it feels wrong, don't do it
2. Say exactly what you mean
3. Don't be a people pleaser
4. Trust your instincts
5. Never speak bad about yourself
6. Never give up on your dreams
7. Don't be afraid to say no
8. Don't be afraid to say yes
9. Be kind to yourself
10. Let go of what you can't control
11. Stay away from drama and negativity
12. Love


I've always been a proponent of self care under the theory that you can't give what you don't have. And think about it, the truth is no one knows exactly what you need except you! Others can offer love, help and support but in the final analysis, our happiness is up to us. Happiness never comes from the outside. It is always an inside job! Self care is never selfish it is the most loving thing you can do. If you love yourself, you are free to love others. What can you do to take care of yourself today????

Mother Teresa on Kindness

Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.

Mother Teresa

Attitude

Two things define you. Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything.

              -UNKNOWN-

 

Love

 Romantic love may not be available to everyone at every point in their lives but TRUE love is always available. My definition of true love has nothing to do with romance. I see love as the energy that permeates the world. It is in every act of kindness, every smile and every gracious thought. Compassion and connectedness make the world a better place. If I can make someone's day better by sharing my "love" it usually causes a positive ripple effect. Think of a time when you felt "on top of the world." How did you treat other people? How did you treat yourself? Were your thoughts positive? Was your step a little lighter? You may have even smiled at a stranger. We can't really ever know but that smile may have helped heal someone in some way. The great thing about any kind of love is that there is no such thing as too much. Love is one of the only things that when given away, it expands. But the best part is there is no chance of overdose! XO

Today!

Alway an interesting concept. It reminds me of the importance of trying to live in the present. Yesterday CAN be about regret and tomorrow CAN be about fear if it causes you stress. Think about it.... the present, right now, is the only reality. That is where the true gift lies. Learning to live in the here and now is what wise sages and philosophers have been trying to tell us.  That's not to say we shouldn't have wonderful memories when we think about the past (some memories bring us great pleasure and excitement about the future is a certainly a perk) but my sense is that to really appreciate the wonders of life, the present moment is where it is all happening!

From Today's Inspirational Quote (Sun, 23 Jun 2013)

     Forget yesterday- it has already forgotten you. Don't sweat tomorrow - you haven't even met. 
Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift - today.

             STEVE MARABOLI

Enjoy your day!
xo

Karma

I'm not sure I'm all in with the "what goes around comes around" concept but I do believe that like attracts like. For example, think of a time when you were in a grumpy mood. The longer you were out of sorts the more negative things seemed to happen. Conversely, try to remember a time when you were in a great mood. Didn't everything seem to fall into place effortlessly?

When I think good thoughts I tend to say good words and it is easy to do good deeds! Consequently, when I keep things positive it just seems to breed more positive in my life. Enjoy.

Spiritual Awakening

Love this one!

Socrates on the Secret of Change

This is a great quote and I've seen a few variations on its theme like , "What you resist persists," "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change," "And like attracts like."  Mother Theresa has a philosophy that she will never be AGAINST something like war or poverty but will always be FOR positive concepts like peace and prosperity.  This quote reminds me how easy it is to pay attention to the negative but how anti-productive that activity may be at times. For example, if I am constantly talking or thinking about what I don't like or want about something, there is no room to even see what may be right about the situation. This doesn't leave any space to attract more of the positive.


 An additional misstep may be the worrying that could come with focusing on what is wrong instead of what is right.

Worry is like rocking in a rocking chair. There is plenty of activity but you are not getting anywhere!

Socrates had it right, focus on the positive for a change.  That's some age-old wisdom in my book that still holds true today. Enjoy your day.

Truth in Advertising!

So excited to turn on the TV and see a national Dairy Queen commercial.  The reason for my excitement is that my daughter is in the ad! The entertainment industry is very interesting and I can say I have enjoyed it so far. It is fast paced and the scheduling can be hectic but it is really fun and  constantly changing.

Dairy Queen made a few commercials and she may be in other ones throughout the year, but for now she is in the Blizzard commercial featuring the June Blizzard, S'mores. And as a point of interest, there really is an ice cream blizzard in the cup that doesn't fall out when it is flipped! Truth in advertising!

Simple Summer Salad

Light, filling and tasty!!

When I am looking for an easy, delicious and satisfying dinner on a hot summer evening, I always go back to the basics - A light but filling salad. Whatever lettuce I have on hand (usually a bibb or romaine) and a meat topping (my favorite is shredded rotisserie chicken) form the backbone of the meal.  Borrowing from the Cobb tradition, bacon and egg really are the secret ingredients. From there, I can add all kinds of goodies. Avocado, tomato, pine nuts, walnuts, pecans, cheese and croutons are just a few ideas to add different tastes and textures (not to mention monounsaturated fats, which are the "good kind".) If I want to cut down on the animal protein, I may just make a lettuce, tomato, bacon and hard boiled egg version.  This salad has a lot going on, so I stick to a good extra virgin olive oil and red wine or balsamic vinegar for the dressing. It never fails to get compliments... even from my die-hard meat and potatoes family members.

Ingredients:

Your favorite lettuce, chopped or ripped
6 slices of cooked bacon (I always make more just in case)
2 hard boiled eggs
1 cup of rotisserie or baked chicken
1 avocado
fresh mozzarella cheese cut in pieces
grape tomatoes
croutons
extra virgin olive oil
red wine vinegar

Combine all ingredients and toss lightly
Serves 6-8



                                            

Inspiring!

A young woman working in a Verizon store inspired me today with her strength, courage and attitude. I don't know how we got into a personal conversation but she shared how she was married to an abusive husband who had tried to kill her. She has been out of the relationship for several years but she told me she speaks at a woman's shelter to help others who have been abused.  She went on to say that she loves her job even when people lash out at her for something she has no control over.  I was impressed by her attitude that sometimes people just have bad days. She is a single mother who loves life. I continue to marvel at the experiences people endure and how they respond. Some are truly inspiring!

Improv!

Actor, Jon Fine, playing my husband in the photo shoot today,

After three days of unbelievable rainstorms, and an afternoon clearing yesterday, today was an incredibly beautiful day. The temperature was a little cooler than usual for the month of May and we were delighted to enjoy the sunshine. All that information is just a lead up to my real reason for this post!

 I had booked a print job for today and the wardrobe I had intended to wear would have left me too chilly so ventured to a nearby clothing store for the basics... solid colors, steering clear of black and white. Unfortunately, there was not a khaki pant option so I was looking at jeans (one lavender and one mint.)  I sent the colors to my stylist, Annie. (If you haven't visited her blog take a minute to do so, you will see why I always consult her on wardrobe questions. Annelliott.blogspot.com ).  I did not have time to tell her why I needed top options so I just sent her some photos.

The part of this tale that really amused me was my other daughter, Rebecca, (another fashionista and also in the acting business) was helping me put my choices together for the client. She casually mentioned that Annie had called and asked her to help me pick my clothes for her graduation. We both thought that was odd but about 30 minutes later I realized why. Annie thought I was planning to wear the combination of clothes I had sent her in my text to graduation!

Now back to the weather. (Sort of.) Not only was the day gorgeous, I had a blast on the shoot. It was for an awning company and I was cast as part of a couple enjoying the shade the awning provided.  Improv! I loved it. Great Monday. Hope yours was too.

                                    

                  

School's Out... FOREVER!

Annie's last day of school. I'm sure I have one of her first day somewhere!

My oldest daughter just attended her last day of law school at UNC. Alice Cooper's classic song, school's out forever, rings in my head! I know I've been on the sidelines cheering her on but what a ride her academic career has been. In usual Annie fashion she has given everything and more to her time in Chapel Hill.  We are so deeply proud of her. (We would be anyway just because she is herself.)

This post is a total mother's tribute, so please indulge me! Annie has received several awards and accolades as a student starting from High School through her latest endeavor in law school. At the risk of embarrassing her, I will only name a few! At the University of Florida she was the overall chair of Dance Marathon (the largest student run philanthropy in the Southeast) helping to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for The Children's Miracle Network. She was also awarded UF's outstanding female leadership award and I watched in pure awe as she gave the commencement speech to thousands of graduates.

As she leaves UNC, she was the recipient of several awards, one of which is the Davis award. Another recognition of her gift of giving back to others through leadership. Congratulations does not convey how proud we are of you Annie!

Announcing the Class of 2013 Davis Society

Andrew Brown

Annie Bryan

Meriwether Evans

Yolanda Fair

Yasir Latifi

Nick Miller

Adam Parker

Laura Sloan

Congratulations!

The James E. and Carolyn B. Davis Society is intended to recognize eight third-year students possessing both academic and personal excellence and a willingness to serve for the betterment of the School of Law and its faculty and students.  In making its selections, the Davis Society Selection Committee considers the qualities of leadership ability, integrity, dedication, and character as exemplified by extracurricular activities and academic achievement.

Optimism

I read an interesting article in Prevention magazine (Feb 2013) about a couple who were vacationing in the Himalayan foothills. They inadvertently found themselves in the home of a 90 year old healer/sage who gave them some tea for their respective ailments. As it turns out, Dr. Ho is a world renowned healer who works only for donations. He started out with a degree in Medical Engineering but fell ill and returned to his village and immersed himself in the study of herbs. The couple took the tea as prescribed and  continued on their journey. After a few weeks of consuming the tea they were rid of their health concerns but wrote the experience off as the power of placebo. When they returned to the United States they had the tea analyzed by AOMA Graduate School of Integrative Medicine, a Chinese medicine school in Austin, Texas , and it did contain properties that addressed each of their concerns.

The couple  was delighted that the tea helped them but theorized that "the tea was a tremendous placebo." The technician disagreed and informed them that herbs are medicinal and do work irrespective of your belief in their ability to heal.

In addition to consuming healing herbs, Dr. Ho's health advice to patients is to "be confident in their own cure, OPTIMISTIC in attitude, conduct rational lives and apply both Western and Chinese medicine where appropriate." The article went on to say that OPTIMISM is the secret. Above all else be OPTIMISTIC. The entire article can be found in the February 2013 issue of Prevention Magazine. Finding Dr. Ho by Jeannie Ralston.

To your Health and Optimism!


       

Dr. Ho photo by Robb Kendrick
prevention.com

Goals and Infinite Possibilities

            A goal without a plan is only a wish.



Ah... the topic of goals. We all have goals in life, either spoken or unspoken. Sometimes we think our hopes and dreams are goals when in reality unless we put some focused attention into them, they are merely wishes. What makes the concept of planning even more interesting is the idea that a plan is flexible and should move with the circumstances. Hard work and perseverance are certainly excellent criteria for achieving a goal but there are even more tools at our fingertips.

A plan is important. If you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there? Plans give us a framework and structure with sign posts along the way.  Plans can also alert us when we have gone far afield from our desired outcome.  For example, I posted in January about wanting to be able to do 10 pull ups by the end of the year (starting from zero.) At that point it was just a wish stemming from my frustration that as an former competitive swimmer my upper body strength was dismal.

To transform that idea into a goal, I set a broad plan to go to the gym. From there I revised the plan to include personal training days. When the scheduling seemed  problematic I had to revise the goal to include other workout times and places. As the year progressed, I realized that my plan had to grow and expand with the circumstances. At one point the moving parts were getting crazy but I kept the overall goal in mind. Even though I didn't rigidly stick to my gym plans as I had hoped, I did stick to my commitment to my goal. The venue or the workout is flexible and I end up cross training 3 to 4 times a week. The result thus far is 8 PULL-UPS!

According to Mike Dooley, author of Infinite Possibilities, we can easily get sucked into the "cursed hows." His take on a goal is to focus on the end result while taking whatever steps you can take to get there. He advises to let the Universe do its work. That doesn't mean sit back and do nothing it just means don't get so bogged down and attached to how you are going to accomplish something. The Universe will conspire with you when you have a goal and take steps to implement you plan.

His book is an excellent motivator to achieve whatever you desire in life. INFINITE POSSIBILITIES!

     

                                             

Mother/ Daughter weekend

A fun weekend with my youngest daughter at her sorority Mother/Daughter weekend. Some of the highlights were a brunch on Saturday followed by a private showing of the movie Admission. Fortunately, since everyone had already been admitted to college, we could enjoy the movie as we remembered the angst we each shared with the college admission process.  Just a note to those who haven't experienced the ordeal of college applications- waiting, acceptance, rejection,  more waiting, decisions, more options, finances,etc. (and that's just on the parental side) - You will get through it and after all is said and done, the right thing usually falls into place.

Sunday was the sorority's Founder's day brunch. This was held at the beautiful Hilton Hotel.  After the appropriate people were honored and the group went through the buffet line we were treated to the Senior video. Each senior gave a tribute to their mother and thanked her for her support. And last, each senior shared her plans for after graduation. Most were off to graduate school, some had secured jobs, others were still interviewing and one was "just winging it!"

It is always a great weekend when I'm spending with a family member. Hope you get to enjoy your family this weekend and always!

Richard Bach

What the caterpillar calls
      the end of the world,
The master calls
       the butterfly.

Richard Bach
Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah



This goes on the list of my all- time favorite quotes. It summarizes my interest in the power of thought and how our thoughts can shape our experience.  In short, it's all about perspective. Our thoughts are often limiting at best and fearful at worst.  I, like the caterpillar am often limited in experience and understanding so my perception can be narrow.

 It is never what happens that causes me joy or pain, it is my thoughts about the event. A fruitful exercise is to monitor your thoughts for just one day. How many could be described as limiting or fearful? How many are loving and expansive? The answer may surprise you. I do know that when my thoughts are in the present moment they are often positive. As a little extra incentive to notice my thoughts,  being in the now (instead of  focusing on the past or jumping ahead) influences my future for the better. Try it, the rewards are worth the effort!

Easter Weekend

Easter seems to be the favorite holiday in our family (although I do love Thanksgiving!) We enjoy many traditions and are working to keep some of them intact as our family grows and moves into new phases of life.

We don't have anyone young enough to enjoy Easter egg hunts anymore and we are veering away from Easter Baskets but we love spending time with our family. This year was an eating adventure as we moved from one food event to the other.

Some of the eating highlights included lunch at Bella and Maxwells followed by a mind-boggling buffet at a beach club.  Burgers at Grease was the fare before a shrimp boil that included a delicious coconut cake made by our aspiring pastry chef, Hannah.  The one tradition we managed to keep this year was our Easter morning brunch at Testa's. It was crowded but worth it. My end of the table ordered Eggs Benedict (and not to be outdone by the far end) we ordered a stack of pancakes to share.
We finished of the culinary weekend by enjoying southern style shrimp and grits by a local caterer while watching the Miami Heat win an exciting game against the San Antonio Spurs. (We were still licking our wounds after watching the Gators get slammed by Michigan.)

It was a fabulous weekend and we will certainly work on new traditions as the old ones live in our memories. Hope your weekend was wonderful!

Beautiful Easter afternoon at the beach!

Hang in there!

I love this quote and as a bonus, I have found it to be oh so true. I just finished a conversation with a friend who has been going through a trying year. There were many times that all I could offer was a sincere "hang in there. Things will fall into place." She was so happy tonight. I could hear it in her voice.  I must have said it so many times as the months wore on because that is the first thing she said  as she was sharing her excitement. She called specifically to tell me about the wonderful turn her situation had taken and she didn't hesitate to remind me, "You said it would fall into place if I was just patient. I can't believe it. Thank you for getting me through that awful time."

It may sound cliche, but I really believe that , "This too shall pass." It is hard to imagine sometimes when you are right in the middle of an unpleasant experience but somehow WE CAN AND DO come out the other side.

So hang in there! Good things are on the way! Enjoy your week!

Circus Life or Do what you love!

I grew up in Sarasota, Florida and one of the exciting things happening on the West coast of the state (aside from the beautiful beaches on the Gulf ) was that Ringling Brothers Circus performers "wintered" there and most called the Sarasota/Venice area home.

As kids we played football, swam on swim teams and ran track but we also had the opportunity to learn circus skills with the professionals. We tumbled, walked a high wire, juggled and learned flying trapeze  from the Ringling Brothers  performers. We were members of the Sailor Circus and even performed under the big top. It was quite a production! My mother was always afraid I would run away and join a professional circus. I enjoyed it THAT much.

My acts were unicycle, tumbling, teeterboard and quartette adagio. Teeterboard was my favorite and I was fortunate to land at one of the two Universities in the country that boasted a student circus( albeit on a swimming scholarship.) I decided to give up collegiate swimming at some point and found the FSU Flying High circus. Maybe my version of running away and joining the circus! I was chosen to be on the traveling troupe performing teeterboard. We would travel to various places, like a sports team, erect our tent, do the show then break it down. I think back now at the incredible amount of trust we had in each other from setting up the tent and equipment to working our acts. It was an experience of a lifetime on many levels.

Those were incredibly fun days. Once the sawdust gets in your blood it never leaves. My youngest daughter has embarked on a career in the entertainment industry and I have joined a talent management firm but those are posts for another day! Enjoy your weekend and make some time to do something you love!

Wow, dont' know when this was but a Quartette adagio team. The 4th member is out of the shot.

Setting up safety nets for flying trapeze

Another older shot of hanging trapeze.

God Bless America!

We had the good fortune to attend a beautiful wedding this weekend that was not only lovely materially but also filled with love and sentiment. One of the highlights was after the welcomes and the invocation, the grandfather of the bride led us in the Pledge of Allegiance. Admittedly, a nice touch but remarkable and memorable given the circumstances. The grandfather, a United States Admiral, had spent 5 and a half years as a POW at the infamous Hanoi Hilton.  We were in the back of the room and could not see him as he spoke but it was truly a moving experience.

     I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands. One Nation under God ,indivisible,with liberty and justice for all.

The Pledge of Allegiance is powerful in its own right but the memory of being led in its recitation by someone who lived that Pledge in such a tangible way will stay with me forever.  His love for his country and family was palpable as he ended with, "God Bless America!"

We are truly blessed and I am grateful everyday.

Gate River Run...

I ran the 5k (Florida Times Union sponsored) portion of the River Run last year after not running for several years. The last time I ran the 15k (many years ago) I think I managed close to 8 minute miles. Last year I labored through the 3.1 miles at about a13 minute a mile pace (UGHHH).  It was fun to be a participant and I am definitely glad I was a part of the event, so this year I was almost tempted to try again (even though I haven't run a step since last year.) Fortunately, the voice of reason got my attention and I enjoyed breakfast with my daughters, son in law and husband after they did their own fun run through the neighborhood.

One of the best parts of the shorter distance (aside from not having to even think about the dreaded monster called the Hart Bridge) is that the 5K accommodates every skill level. Some entrants walked the 3.l miles while others raced! The real excitement comes when waiting at the finish line to cheer on the serious competitors and seeing lots of people you know finishing the race. It is truly amazing to be part of more than 17,000 runners. Kudos to all of the participants. It is always an incredible race and today was a beautiful day to be running in Jacksonville. CONGRATULATIONS to Andrew Carlson and Deena
Kastor, 2013 Gate River Run Champions!

Normal

"Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."

     -Morticia Addams



I love this quote. The older I get, the more I value uniqueness in people. I have always loved a "different" or unique piece of furniture. I enjoy our  historic neighborhood where all of the houses have their own character. As I transfer this appreciation for differences to people I'm even more intrigued with the beauty and majesty of the human race. There is no normal. Vive la difference, not just between the sexes but between everyone! Practice tolerance and understanding and find what is waiting to be discovered.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

When a wise person said, "Enjoy every second because when you blink, she will be grown." I admit I couldn't imagine what that meant. Or at least it is a gross exaggeration. Well, it is true. One minute a baby, the next a beautiful young woman. My oldest, Ann Elliott, has been a beautiful young woman for some time.  She has always been and always will be an incredible, giving and compassionate person. (Not to mention gorgeous.) We are blessed beyond measure to have her as a daughter. Happy Birthday Annie! You are so loved!

*For those who are reading this who do not know her (and those who do), check out her blog. It is informative and witty!

annelliott.blogspot.com

  

                                                                                                                    

Gator Athletics!

We had such a great time last weekend at our youngest daughter's college parents' weekend. Being former UF athletes, it was fun to check out some of the athletic events. Florida basketball is decidedly more popular now than when we were in school. They are doing fairly well this year so it was fun to see them in action against Arkansas. Arkansas had beaten them a few weeks ago IN Arkansas so the O'Dome was rocking and rolling when the Gators were their host. We won! And it was fun to renew my interest in college basketball... March Madness is just around the corner! As a bonus, during the game, it was announced that the Men's swimming and diving team (my husband and I were divers on the team back in the Day!) had just won the SEC championship. On Sunday we went to watch the women's tennis team take on Stanford. It was a close and very exciting match but we had to leave before the conclusion.  We learned later that Florida did win! Our family also has an interest in the gymnastics team. One of the Gator team members was a teammate of our youngest daughter several years ago so we may have to go to Gainesville for the NCAA Regional meet April 6 to see her final competition as a Florida Gator! As always, Go Gators!

UF vs Arkansas

                                                                       

Uf vs Stanford